My Wife, Lazarus: No, really!

Early morning. January 3, 2011. My wife, Kendra, asked me to take her to an Urgent Care facility near our house. She was having difficulty breathing. A lot of difficulty.

Urgent Care sent us to the emergency room of a nearby hospital, suspecting that she had developed pneumonia.

Kendra was admitted and began breathing treatments. By the evening, it appeared as though she was starting to do better. We agreed that I would go home for the evening and take care of a few things at home.

An Unwelcome Surprise

When I arrived at the hospital the next morning, I expected to find Kendra doing well and possibly discussing what I believed would be a not-too-distant check-out. I could not have been more mistaken.

I entered the room to find her sitting up, bent over and struggling top breathe. There was a nurse in the room who told me that she had "a very rough night" and that they were getting ready to bring her to ICU. I asked a couple of questions that didn't get answered.

As the nurse left the room, I went to speak with Kendra. She could not talk. She could only nod to acknowledge my questions, and she seemed to have a problem doing even that.

"Do you want me to call the priest?" I asked.

Now, Kendra does not like "attention", and I fully expected to have to plead a bit with her about the urgency of the matter. Not this time. She immediately and emphatically nodded in the affirmative. The emphatically part scared me quite a bit.

Things began to happen fast. She was whisked to ICU. I was told that another doctor, a specialist, had been called in to take over. I was also told that the doctor "might intubate her". The "might" part was confusing to me and did not convey the full seriousness of the particular situation at hand.

Just outside of her ICU room, I confirmed via phone that Our pastor was just minutes from the hospital. Just as the call ended, I was introduced to that specialist I mentioned.

Physician, Be Profiled

He spoke very quickly and told me that he was indeed going to intubate Kendra. I'm sure he said more, but it was all a haze. I asked him how long before this had to happen, just as I saw a cart and a team of medical people entering her room. He glanced at them and then told me "Right now."

I told him that our priest was minutes away and asked if this could be delayed just for a bit. "No." he said.

Honestly, I "profiled" him. His obvious Middle-Eastern appearance and accent led me to believe that this just might be a case where he didn't "get it" or understand our Faith.

I guess he read that in my expression, because he put both hands on my shoulders, looked squarely at me and said, "We are going to do everything we can to save her."

Wait. What? This unexpected statement rushed around in my head multiple times, and I nearly fell down. I was not prepared to hear those words.

ARDS is BAD

"Is it really that bad?", I asked. "Yes", he said, "It's really that bad. She has developed ARDS. Acute Respiratory Distress Syndrome. I have to get started now."

Our pastor, Fr. Larry, met me in the ICU waiting room, and soon we were told that we could see Kendra. The doctor told me that Kendra had just been sedated so we had just a few minutes to see her. A tear formed in Kendra's eye as Fr. Larry gave her the Anointing of the Sick, and soon she was asleep.

A little later I asked the doctor how long she would be on the ventilator. I am the one who still didn't "get it". ARDS has a mortality rate of about 40%. For someone who already has other health complications (as Kendra does), that rate climbs to about 60%.

Her doctor's response was "If she is able to come off of the ventilator, we will not know for about a week, and that won't be the end of this either."

Like Lazarus

Throughout the day, many friends came by to visit. Kendra slept through all of them.

Very late that evening our parochial vicar, Fr. Vincent, came by. I explained what I could to him and told him that she was "completely out of it."

Fr. Vincent came closer to Kendra, opposite the side of the bed where I was standing. He looked down at her for a moment, raised his hand over her and said firmly, "Kendra, this is Father Vincent."

Immediately, and I mean immediately, Kendra thrust her arm upward and grabbed onto Fr. Vincent's hand.

We prayed for her, and I again saw a tear forming in her eye. Fr. Vincent spoke to her, and she acknowledged by shaking her head. He told her that she was going to be okay, and she nodded in the affirmative.

All this time, her eyes were still closed. And when he left the room that evening, she was again "out of it."

That "Lazarus moment" was extremely powerful in ways that I will not be able to convey here.

And much of what happened during this time belongs in my Vida la Vida series, but that will have to wait.

Oh, the ventilator? Kendra came off of it on the third day. She was home within a week.

She will always have certain complications, and we have to be more cautious with her overall health, but her recovery was really miraculous.

Even her doctor remarked to me that "she must have strong faith" and that he had "never seen anyone begin recovery from ARDS so quickly."

The risen Lord renews this mission ("In my name . . . they will lay their hands on the sick, and they will recover.") and confirms it through the signs that the Church performs by invoking his name. These signs demonstrate in a special way that Jesus is truly "God who saves." (CCC 1507)

Gene Eisenmann; To know him was to love him

Gene Eisenmann (Paren)

Eugene Joseph Eisenmann (Better known as Gene, Geno, Geneaux, and Poppy, <or Paren to me>), my Godfather, passed away in the early morning hours of Sunday May 19, 2013; Pentecost Sunday.

Pentecost Sunday, declared by the Church as a "new era", a "new age", the "age of the Church" in which "Christ now lives and acts...in a new way." (CCC 1076)

For me, it is appropriate that the man who first professed my Faith as my proxy would enter a "new era" and "new age" with Jesus in "a new way" on such a day.

I found this article on Insurance Journal regarding his passing. It states (emphasis mine):

"A giant of E&S lines, Eisenmann built companies, advanced the interests of the industry and, perhaps most importantly, helped hundreds of men and women advance and improve their careers."

And there's this partial quote (also emphasis mine):

“Gene was a great man. To know Gene was to love him. A first class businessman who rose from a humble background to the pinnacle of our industry, he never forgot where he came from. Gene was that rare individual who could get results while never losing sight of the human side of our business.” - tKg CEO James F. Keating 

And for me, this is fitting as well:

Eternal rest, grant unto my Paren O Lord. May his soul and all the souls of the faithful departed rest in peace. Amen. + + +

Crisis, Character, BengIRSAP, and US

I've decided to blend the scandals of the Benghazi terrorism cover-up, the IRS bullying tactics, and the bullying tactics of the DOJ with regards to the AP into the word BengIRSAP. It just makes it easier for me, and I have never liked making anything and everything scandalous into a "-gate" subcategory (as in "zipper-gate").

Also, I was thinking of something a former pastor of mine once said. 

"Crisis does not create character. Crisis reveals character." - Fr. Dennis Hayes (Archdiocese of New Orleans)

While Fr. Hayes was speaking of the varied responses to Hurricane Katrina, the responses (or lack thereof) we (the people) have received from the current White House Administration brings this statement to mind.

CRISIS - an unstable or crucial time or state of affairs in which a decisive change is impending - Webster

CHARACTER - the complex of mental and ethical traits marking and often individualizing a person, group, or nation - Webster

You don't need me to lay out the case regarding what we are seeing from the persons of or the Administration as a group. BUT...I wonder what the true character of our nation is.

How will we respond?

What will be revealed about us?

BengIRSAP: Where does "the buck" stop?

Benghazi, IRS, and the AP; BengIRSAP.

It seems the media is finally paying attention to the facts instead of the fairy tales. The White House is finally being asked real questions about its handling or mishandling of specific events and occurrences both domestic and abroad. Wow! What a shame it has taken so long.

But I suspect that this may not last for long. Even under fire, the President, the Head of the AG, and the White House Spokesman continue to spin, dodge, blame, and even lie.

But they are also enabled by their political opponents who try to get so far in front of the facts that they make themselves look like targets. Oh, and this Administration has had so much target practice, I'm sure they qualify as expert marksmen.

Whether "left", "right", or "moderate", I wish we could all just be honest.

I'll start. I am not a fan of this President, most of those in his Administration, and especially the AG.

That said, I am not hoping that the President will be found to have been criminally involved in BengIRSAP or intentional cover-ups.

That would further damage our country and the Office. I still hold that the Office commands a respect that goes far above anyone who occupies it. And seeking a particular person (even the President; especially the President) to be found of criminal intent is motivated by something other than a desire for the truth.

BUT...I do want the truth. I do want to know who "did it" (in each and every matter of importance as it relates to BengIRSAP), and I want their to be just consequences for those involved  regardless of who they are or what office they hold.

However, before we get to that point, I would like the President and each of those with authority regarding the various aspects of BengIRSAP to just take responsibility. Not as the former Secretary of State did. That was phony and meaningless. I mean a good old fashioned "The buck stops here" statement from those with whom "the buck" should stop.

But especially the President. NOT so he can become the target, but so that we can get beyond that and start searching for the true targets. In my thinking, passing the buck only makes one look guilty and arouses suspicions.

Don't get me wrong, this isn't the first President who has shirked responsibility, and he won't be the last; a lack of character not isolated to any particular political party either.

Viva la Vida: My Second "First Communion"

My 2nd Grade class received their First Communion this weekend. It was a truly joyous day. Adding to that joy was seeing my own son Brandon receive Holy Communion for the first time and having my wife  Kendra with us throughout the year and especially on that day.

Of all of the years that I have taught Faith Formation (or CCD) this year was unique, and not just because of our special family involvement. In some ways, there were challenges that I had not had in the past and did not expect. There were a few instances that I may never understand. Yes, I am being vague on purpose.

But the children surprised me in really good ways. They were not afraid to ask questions about some not-easy-to-understand topics; you know, mysteries. Many of them liked to talk about particular word translations too. We had a great time through several classes comparing Mass with a time machine.

And you bet they were prepared to receive their First Communion; catechetically, spiritually, and rubrically. (Although my spell check does not like that word, I double-checked to ensure it's a word.) We bought our own box of unconsecrated hosts and used more than 300 of them in addition to what was supplied to us by the Parish.

It was really great to have Brandon sitting next to me at the Mass and watching each of my students receive for the first time. But after I received Communion and was thanking God for these children, for entrusting them to me, and for the renewed life He had given to me, a very undeserving character, I thought about my two First Communions.

I thought about my First Communion as a child about 38 years ago. I remembered at least one of the lessons and rehearsals and the excited anticipation of receiving the Eucharist for the first time. I remembered the priest, the church, my white suit. I remembered the party at my house afterward; the cake and at least 3 of my presents. Strangely though, I do not actually remember receiving Communion that first time or any of the Mass at all.

And then I thought about my second First Communion; the one about 6 1/2 years ago. It was November 2006, a little more than 2 years after my reversion to the Faith following more than a decade of absence to varying degrees.

Kendra was in RCIA and was dismissed after the Homily, so I sat alone, but more un-alone than I can explain. Nor can I explain the overwhelming anticipation that I felt as I approached Jesus in the Eucharist after so long. After Communion, Flashes of my life literally passed before me at one instant and the emotion of it all was too much.

No. I do not remember the actual act of receiving the Eucharist this time either. As hard as I try, I cannot. I'm a big sap for the nostalgic, but I can honestly say that not remembering either of these times does not sadden or bother me at all.

I think it's because these moments are part of the kairos as I wrote about here before.

A former pastor of mine once preached about chronos and kairos time. Very simply, chronos time may be explained by the answer to the question "What time is it?" while kairos time is better explained by the statement "I had a great time". While chronos refers to sequential time, kairos refers to a moment. 

In the Eastern Church, before the Liturgy begins, the deacon exclaims "Kairos tou poiesai to Kyrio"; which means "It is time for the Lord to act", recognizing the joining of our earthly and heavenly worship.

I sometimes think about how hard it was to go to Mass after Mass without being able to receive Jesus in the Eucharist.

I sometimes think about how many years I didn't think about it much at all.

I sometimes wonder why God would still want me after those years of rejecting Him. I wonder why He would want to use someone like me. This is too self-absorbed. God wants each of us. He calls each of us.

I just finally listened....and responded.

Viva la Vida (Live Life) is a running series of posts about my life experiences, meant to help me reflect on the "why's?" of who I am becoming through my ongoing conversion. The inspiration for the title comes from the Coldplay song.

Other posts in this series:

A Glimpse
Tribute to a man I never knew
What's in a Name?

May Day! May Day! St. Joseph, Mother Mary Help Us!

Today, girls as young as 15 will be able to purchase abortion pills off of store shelves.

May Day! May Day!

God is not allowed in our schools and public places.

May Day! May Day!

About 125,000 babies are killed in the womb every day.

May Day! May Day!

Disorder is celebrated as heroic greatness.

May Day! May Day!

The FCC has a plan to reduce complaints they receive about indecency. It's not to make network tv more decent. It's to allow just about anything, including the F-Bomb and full nudity.

May Day! May Day!

Most people follow along like sheep as government distracts them from the true causes of violence in our society.

May Day! May Day!

You know I could go on and on here.

Today is the feast of St Joseph the Worker. It is an opportunity to reflect on the true direction of our lives. Our work, whatever that is, finds its true fulfillment when directed toward the service of God. That is, we understand that in performing the work of our lives, the work God has given us, we thank Him by performing that work in a dignified manner. Our work is blessed when we recognize it as God's provision to us, to sustain us and our families.

It is a way to "pray without ceasing". It is a way to give our lives in sacrifice. As with any true sacrifice, we acknowledge that our work (our lives) are a gift from God. We take that gift, make something of it, and offer it back to God.

This is far different from the Communists' (who celebrate May Day today) perspective that each person is but a unit of labor in service to the government. When Christians rightly understand that the true orientation of work is toward God, they gain a better appreciation of the other's work as well. And this should translate into a better understanding and appreciation for the dignity of the entire person as well.

May is the month of Mary.

How blessed to have been given the responsibility of giving our Savior life, loving and nurturing Him. If ever we needed the intercession of our Blessed Mother, we need it now.

Let's turn to her intercession and ask her to petition her Son to intervene in the gross situation we find our world today; to give us a true love for each other, not the false love of the world which says that in order to love we must diminish God.

MAY the examples of St. Joseph and the Blessed Mother re-orient us towards our God.