Love and Underpants

I don't believe that I mentioned it here on the blog, but many of you knew ahead of time that I was going in for hernia surgery this past Tuesday.

Well, all has gone really well with that, and I intend to write more about the experience, but here's just a quick thought I had last night.

Since having the surgery and until this morning, it was very difficult for me to bend past a certain point. Likewise, it has been difficult to lift my left foot very high off of the floor.

Three times. Once while dressing in the hospital to come home and twice after taking a shower. I have had to rely on my wife to help me put my underpants on.

Go ahead, laugh. Make a smirky face. I have a point.

Observing her help me with this last night, I noticed there was no hesitation on her part. There was no look of obligation nor anything which might be considered even remotely negative.

There was only love.

When one finds a worthy wife, her value is far beyond pearls. Her husband, entrusting his heart to her, has an unfailing prize. She brings him good, and not evil, all the days of her life. - Proverbs 31; 10-12

Do you love God above all things?

This past Sunday's Gospel reading from St. Luke included the conversation between Jesus and a "scholar of the law". The scholar asks Jesus what he must do to inherit eternal life, and Jesus turns the tables on him by asking what is written in the law. The scholar replies

“You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your being, with all your strength, and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.”

We have a new priest at our parish. He has a facebook page that he has been fairly active on, and I hope he continues. I noticed on Saturday evening that he posed the question, "Do you love God above all things?" His question has about 35 "likes" and only 3 answers, one of which is mine.

I think this is something we really don't like to dwell on. I think we like to think that we love God above all else, but do we really?

My response is

"I strive to love God above all things but my actions are a testament to how far I still have to go."

I'm just being honest. If I really loved God "above all things" I would focus less on myself, what is happening to me, and how it affects me. I would stay focused on what my vocation as husband and father means, and the lives of my wife and children would be much better for it.

Loving God above all things means putting God first. I can't say that I do that. Probably every sin is rooted in not placing God first.

This doesn't mean that I feel defeated or have to go around pouting about it. It just means that I should take some time each day to recognize how I could have loved God a little more that day and strive to do better the next.

And maybe a better response is "sometimes", because yes, there are many times when I put all other things aside. I'm not a total spiritual failure. :-)

Who's Number One in your life?

The Man and the Flies

Once upon a time there was a man who lived alone. He was sad and lonely, wishing there was someone to talk to.

Then, as he was reading his paper one day, a little fly landed on his table. "Hello little fly!" the man said, "I'm glad you landed here. I have much to say, and there is no one to listen to me."

The man found great delight in telling the little fly everything that was on his mind. Soon, the little fly was joined by several other flies, and the man was thrilled to share with a much larger audience the many deep thoughts he had about so many deep topics.

Days passed, and the man began to notice that not all of the flies were paying attention to him. In fact, more and more of them seemed to be flying about, paying no mind to his great intellectual prowess.

The man pulled out his fly-swatter. SWAT!!!!!!!!! "Now," thought the man "they will pay attention now." and he continued to share with them the great knowledge he had always longed to share.

But alas as the man sipped his coffee one morning, he noticed that more and more flies were flying about, not taking time to just sit and listen to his wonderful oratory. So the man began swatting and swatting and swatting.

Then, he had a grand idea! He pulled out his trusty fly spray and sprayed it liberally through the air, completely unconcerned with the possible effects of his actions.

Soon, only the original little fly remained, hobbled, but seemingly still "there" for the man. The man was dizzy, but happy that he could again continue with his contribution to the education of the little fly. But then, the fly finally succumbed to the poisonous spray and fell helplessly from the table and died.

The man was furious that the flies had "made" him teach them a lesson. He wanted to tell someone about the rotten flies, but no one was there to listen; not even a fly. So the man, still dizzy and now suffering from a headache, laid in bed......and died.

Weeks later, after the man's body had been "discovered" and the coroner had performed the necessary exploratory procedures and observations, the medical assistant asked "So doctor, what was the cause of death?" The coroner, said "suicide".

"Suicide?" asked the surprised assistant. "Yes" said the coroner, "apparently this man poisoned himself by drinking coffee laced with fly spray."

The End

Lord, please forgive me for the times that my actions have not matched Your Word, driving others away not only from myself, but most of all from You. Help me in my brokenness to always remain focused on You, that You may always be glorified by what I do and say. May I also find forgiveness from those I may have offended, not for my benefit, but because You desire that all of us find healing and reconciliation through You. Amen.

"That they may be One." - Jesus 

Guest Blog: The Truth about Christmas

- by L. Cowell

Christmas is not about joy, peace, love, or happiness; best wishes, dreams or hope, family love, friendship or any other squishy feeling. I love all those things, but if that was all it was about, I could much easier get all that from hugging a teddy bear. It's also not about trees, bells, tinsel or other sparkly things. Material things are wonderful and have their place, but they don't define Christmas.

And most of all, Christmas definitely is not about making it mean whatever we want. Christmas is about one thing only, the birth of Jesus Christ, the second Person of the Most Holy Trinity; born out of the love for all mankind. He came to teach us how to be fully human, how to be what we were created to be. Only when we embrace the Truth that He is, will we then know true joy, peace, love, and happiness. Only then will our best wishes, dreams and hope have meaning.

Only then will family love and friendship be aright in our lives. If we allow Him to define us, we then truly will be whole. In giving up ourselves, we gain all.

This Christmas, lose yourself in Jesus Christ the Person. And know True Love.
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L. Cowell is a Catholic wife and mother. She writes from Pittsburgh, PA.

I Don't Love My Wife Enough

A couple of days ago I was following a discussion about husbands and wives "bickering". The discussion was started by a single woman, a Christian in no hurry to find just any old man, but living her life faithfully to God expecting that IF God has someone in His plan for her, that He is preparing both of them for marriage and not just a wedding. Her exact statement was;

"I don't want to hate my husband. When i marry him, I want us to face things and still love each other. I am thinking about this because I am listening to a couple bicker. I think years of endless bickering leads to hatred."

When I see statements like this, I generally stop to reflect on what God might be trying to tell me as well. I believe that He is always there in little "opportunities" to whisper into my heart the things that I need to hear.

This time it was the truth that I don't love my wife enough. Of course I love her. But, "enough"? No.

Disagreements will always happen but "bickering" is the result of one or both putting themselves before the other.

As a husband, the biggest challenge to me is always;

"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the Church and handed Himself over for her". - Ephesians 5: 25 

When I reflect on how Christ "loved" us and "handed Himself over for" us.....well, I realize how lacking my love for my wife really is.

But it is NOT a moment of despair. It is a clarifying moment, showing me just how much I have to rely on God's Grace moment by moment and especially in my marriage, where the enemy will always seek to destroy more than one.

In his Homily this past Sunday, our deacon pointed out that Jesus was always serving. He was always serving the Father, and He was always serving others (who would become "the Church")

Connecting these thought then, as a husband I am to serve God and to serve my wife. But this service to my wife is a specific type of service. St. Paul explains;

"to sanctify her, cleansing her by the bath of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the Church in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish." - Ephesians 5: 26,27

Of course this was all affirmed to me when I came across a picture with a caption that sums this all up very simply. The caption reads;

"The greatest thing a man can do to woman is to lead her closer to God than to himself"

When my actions as a husband fail to lead my wife closer to God, I am not loving her enough.

Realizing that a husband is to serve God and to serve his wife, doesn't keep me from falling, but it does help me to return to the waters of Grace in the Sacrament of Reconciliation; to be refreshed and renewed and to continue to love just ever so slightly better than before.

Love: It Is What It Is

Something a little different for today.

Several years ago, my Mom embraced the phrase, "It is what it is." Something about that has always caused a negative reaction from me. However, after years of her ignoring my request to stop using the phrase, I gave in.  If you can't beat them, join them.  Well, okay, not in everything, but it is my Mom you know.

Most Christians are familiar with St. Paul's exhortations of "love" in 1Corinthians 13.  However, even these lines contain teaching in the negative, such as "love is not...".

In all relationships, and especially in marriage, it can be difficult to always see the positive as long as our focus is on ourselves instead of the other person.

So this morning, I thought I would just take those verses, and make them all positives, so that I can say this is what love is instead of this is what love is not. (My changes are in bold.)

You win Mom.  It is what it is.

Love is patient, love is kind. Love is trusting. Love is unassuming, it is authentic, it is respectful, it seeks the interest of the other, it is even-tempered, it forgives injury, it regrets wrongdoing and rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love always succeeds.