"God, do for me what I am afraid to do for myself. Take away what you don't want me to have, and give me only what You Will."The question cuts deep as it shows fear on my part; fear to trust God in all things even after all He has brought me through. It also shows a fear on my part to embrace suffering; "pruning", if you will.
Lisa Graas (Catholic Bandita <And if you don't read this blog already, you should.>) commented
There will come a point when you will seek the Cross in all things because you know that is where Jesus is. To be humble is to know the love of Jesus. To be unafraid is to know the love of Jesus. To be subjected to the thorns of hateful words is to know the love of Jesus. After a while, you seek the love of Jesus so much that you hope for crosses. You hope to be made "uncomfortable" and then the things that were once uncomfortable are all transformed into the love of Jesus, and so it is not "uncomfortable" at all. It is just love for Him and from Him.I will again be praying this simple prayer. I am not saying that all of a sudden these insecurities and spiritual deficiencies of mine are gone, but I do know that God wants me to experience "more fruitful growth", and that's enough for me now. Just as, with God, imperfect contrition can be transformed to perfect contrition, I believe that God will be "abidingly patient" with me as He teaches me How to love Him more.
I look beyond the empty cross, forgetting what my life has cost; so wipe away the crimson stains and dull the nails that still remain -----take my world apart