Viva la Vida: Kendra's Call, Part 2 (Sort of)

A while back I started this Viva la Vida series. In it, I have been highlighting some significant events during the course of my life with respect to faith and family. I have never set out to make chronological posts, rather a sort of mash-up of events.

Although with this post I am continuing the story of when Kendra (my wife) first heard the call (the call of the Holy Spirit, that is), it also is not an exact chronology of events.

But if you haven't read it yet, you'll want to click here to read part 1 first.

And for a little fun, all subtitles today are brought to you by the band Boston.

Can'tcha Say You Believe in Me

Patience has never been one of my strong suits, and I have never been comfortable giving up control. I don't even like sitting in the passenger seat of a vehicle very much.

After being strengthened in my certainty that God was truly calling me to reconcile my relationship with Him, and of course wanting to share this relationship to Him with Kendra, I made some mistakes that I think a lot of Christians make. I pushed a bit too much. Also, I attempted to "get through" to her by some of the same means that God used to get through to me.

These are 2 very big no no's. God doesn't push, He pulls. And since we are all unique, He calls each of us in unique ways however similar they may seem on the surface. Kendra needed to experience God in her own way, not mine. And I could not control that.

I very distinctly remember one night, praying as I was driving home from work. As I stated in the last post

The whole thing was taking a toll on our marriage. And why not? I was no longer the person she had married.

More Than a Feeling

I became very overwhelmed by my inability to "make her" believe. It was a similar "feeling" that I had when I had finally given in to God just a few months earlier - you know, finally surrendered. It was through that similarity in emotion that God reminded me that no one person and no one "event" had brought me back to Him. No, it was quite a collection of persons and happenings - and I realized that in some way, God used the whole experience of my life.

(More than a year after this realization, Fr. Timothy Heines stated in a Homily, "Conversion is not an emotion or a one-time experience. Conversion is a life-long process." I often remind myself of this in my self-reflection. It helps me from getting too high or too low on myself.)

But that night driving home, it was a sort of epiphany. I pulled on the side of the road at the Louisa Street exit in New Orleans. I told God that I realized what I was doing was not working, that I seemed to be making things worse not better. I told Him that I realized my job was to introduce Him to Kendra and to set a good example of the Christian life - that I realized that it was He that would truly draw her to Himself, and that I was simply one of many instruments that He wanted to use. I asked Him to help me to be patient.

Higher Power

I really meant that thing about "help me to be patient", but I guess God knew that would be a lot tougher task than reaching Kendra, because it was almost immediately that I saw a few small traces of His "working" on her. Little by little, we were having conversations about God that were started by Kendra, not by me.

While these were not always positive conversations, it was dialogue that needed to take place - and was assurance to me that somehow this was going to work out.

One example of this is the day Kendra agreed to have Brandon baptized. We were on a shopping trip to Target. I had been praying, asking God to help in this exact matter (the baptism). We had not done much talking during that 35 minute drive, but when I parked the car Kendra stated out of the clear blue, "I suppose you would like to have the baby baptized." I affirmed that was my desire, and she replied, "Well, I guess that's okay, but don't ask me to have anything to do with that." Agreed. Check. ("God, I trust you'll take care of that too." - and He did of course.)

The Journey

And so Brandon was baptized. Kendra was there. And now, she had revealed to me that God was stirring her heart to believe in Him.

I think about that now, and how difficult that conversation must have been for her. You know, no one likes to admit that they may have been wrong about something - about anything usually. Kendra is no different in that regards. I'm sure it was tough for her to bring up to me, but she stepped out of her comfort zone, asked what to do next, and when I left it to her to figure out between herself and God, well, He took over.

I said things were about to get different, and they were. This doesn't mean that they were always easier. Some tensions went away, but not all. I think much of this was my fault.

You see, Kendra began really challenging me in my Faith. She started asking questions - a lot of questions. "Why do Catholics do this?" and "Why do Catholics do that?" Well, quite honestly I began to realize that there were a lot of questions that she asked that I did not have a clue about - not a clue. That made me feel uncomfortable - very uncomfortable.

I thought that she was challenging my Faith because she was attempting to disprove it. My inability to properly defend the Faith blinded me to the reality that Kendra was earnestly seeking God, trying to find her way through the darkness. Kendra doe not do anything "on a whim", but rather researches everything. I didn't realize that she had begun her research of Catholicism.

"We drive by night. Nevertheless our reason penetrates the darkness enough to show us a little of the road ahead. It is by the light of reason that we interpret the signposts and make out the landmarks along our way." (The Ascent to Truth - Merton)

 A New World

In reality, this discomfort of mine was the best thing that could ever happen to me. It forced me to become a better Catholic, to do my own research to find out what the Faith really is about and teaches. I would no longer be a casual Catholic, but would begin to avail myself of the multitude of resources available - and the more I learned, the more I fell in love with this great Faith.

Along the way I discovered that Kendra had bought Catholicism For Dummies and enrolled herself in an online Catechism course. At first she said she was doing these things because she owed it to Brandon to know more about what the Catholic Faith teaches. But soon she too was wanting more.

Don't Look Back

A friend had suggested I read "The Purpose Driven Life" by Rick Warren. Kendra agreed to read it together with me. I'm not sure if it was the first chapter or not, but very early in the book, Warren speaks of the importance of Baptism.

Kendra asked if I thought Baptism was important. I said I did, and we discussed why. Before I knew it, she was making an appointment to meet with Fr. Hayes.

We began to meet with Fr. Hayes about having our marriage convalidated and enrolling Kendra in RCIA. Kendra was attending Mass with me regularly and even became involved in a couple of ministries in our little small parish.

We attended our first RCIA meeting together.

Then came Hurricane Katrina.
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Other posts in the Viva la Vida series

Living by Faith, Dwelling in Doubt by Kyle R. Cupp

About 4 weeks ago, I finished reading Living by Faith, Dwelling in Doubt - A Story of Belief, Uncertainty, and Boundless Love, by Kyle R. Cupp.

The book is very well written. For me, there were several "Ah, I understand" moments. There were also moments where I found myself saying out loud, "Come on Kyle!" I laughed a few times, and I cried a few more.

It has always been my intention to write about the book, but family and church responsibilities, surgery, and my own uncertainty (no pun intended) regarding how I would present it here caused a considerable delay.

Book reviews are not really what I do. To begin with, although I have always loved to read, I don't consider myself well-equipped to critique someone else's work.  No doubt (also no pun intended) as soon as I hit the "Publish" button on this post and begin to re-re-re-re-read what I have written, I will find multiple spelling and grammatical errors. I'll begin correcting those, all along wondering if I've made the points I set out to make or second-guessing various portions of what I've written.

Also, book reviews are usually brief (and a little "cold" in my opinion) which is also not something I'm generally comfortable with.

But what I do write about here is Faith, my life, and especially how Faith affects my life, and the lives of others; with special emphasis on the effect (for better or worse) my life has on others. 

There's another reason that this will not be your typical book review. I have "known" Kyle for several years. He is a member of my parish, and a staff member there as well. We've chatted (and sometimes sparred) many times about various political, religious, and even nonsensical topics. I read most of his blog posts, and we're connected on Facebook and Twitter too. I believe that this relationship is as important to discuss as the content of Kyle's book. In fact for me, they are inseparable.

So with these things in mind, if you're inclined to indulge in more than the average "get to the point" book review, I encourage you to continue.

How Do You Know?

More and more, I find it interesting that we perceive that we know someone when in fact we really "know" very little about them. As I stated earlier, "Living by Faith, Dwelling in Doubt" was not my first reading of Kyle's writing nor knowledge of some of his "beliefs".

My discussions with Kyle, coupled with his blogging and social media posts over the past six years or so had led me to believe that I "knew" him. But truthfully, during the past year and a half to two years, I began to wonder, "What's wrong with Kyle? Does he really believe some of this garbage he's posting, or is he just trying to spark a good debate?"

Garbage. That's a tough word to use about someone's writing. To be clear, it wasn't Kyle's style and surely not his lack of ability with words that sparked my ire. It was the content itself, the ideas, inclinations, and innuendos that were increasingly creeping into his posts. No, not really. Thinking retrospectively now, it was really my response to my own failure to properly ascribe Kyle to the appropriate "category" which I have set up in my mind so neatly and carefully.

I'm not sure if everyone does this categorizing thing, but it comes pretty naturally to me, and I can't remember a time in my life that I did not do it.

Oh, and I'm almost always right too. Like with Ray Boltz (a favorite Christian music performer, husband and father who later "came out"), Mike Warnke (a favorite Christian comedian and author whose work was based on his life's experiences as a Satanic high priest who later confirmed most of his testimony as an "embellishment"), and of course Fr. John Corapi (just listing him here in this context will make some people mad) - and these are just a few on a long list of "my failures" in this regard.

Communally Personal

But this thing with Kyle seemed worse. I mean, I actually "know" him. And there's more! Kyle's Catholic...a Catholic writer...a Catholic writer from my parish...who works in the parish office no less! I mean, this is personal.

I believed (still do) that someone who professes to be Catholic and writes about the Faith (or faith in general) should be careful so as not to mislead others or cause others to develop a void in faith where there was nothing previously lacking.

I became aware that there were considerably more of my fellow parishioners who regularly read my blog than I first thought. While I am always honest, I tend to be mindful of that when choosing my words, hoping not to be misunderstood. With Kyle writing considerably more than I do, coupled with his visibility as a parish staff member, my anguish for my fellow parishioners only increased. (Yes, I can be quite cerebrally dramatic.)

You see, a book about having doubts and trying to overcome them is one thing, but a book about "dwelling" in doubt...well, it was a bit much for me. Thoughts of Kyle substantiating doubt in a manner which could lead one to believe that it is okay to remain comfortably in doubt with no intention of an "assent to the truth" and of a celebration of sorts of this disposition were racing through my mind.

I decided that I would not read the book. I made this decision precisely because I like Kyle. I know many of my own weaknesses. I did not want to be further upset with Kyle for not conforming to my way of thinking.

No Joke

So can you imagine how distraught I was when the parish electronic newsletter came out announcing that the parish Book Club would be taking up "Living by Faith, Dwelling in Doubt" as it's next assignment? No...you can't.

I'm pretty sure I vocally exclaimed one of my favorites, "You've got to be kidding me!"

But it was no joke. There it was. Certainly this would be seen as a parish endorsement. Soon, we'd have a parish full of doubters. As if we don't have enough Catholics going through the motions now. Sheesh!

I've never participated in the Book Club before, but I just could not imagine that they've exhausted the great Catholic literary works or theological commentaries.

But there it was. Oh, it made the parish bulletin too - and I think a parish announcement as well.

Yes, this was now causing distress for me with regards to other persons in the parish office. And don't my priests watch for this sort of thing?

And receiving a few personal e-mails and telephone calls from other concerned parishioners and acquaintances only confirmed that I was not alone in my thinking.

This was no joke. Now I HAD to read THAT book.

A Good Time to Read

Several months ago, I woke up at 4am. Unable to go back to sleep, I decided to begin praying. This happened a few days in a row, and before I knew it, I had developed a new habit. It seemed like a pretty good one, and so I stuck with it.

I decided to get in about thirty minutes or so of Kyle's book daily after my prayer time. I purchased the digital version for my Kindle, so it was easy and convenient to read in my dimly lit living room.

Convenience though, turned out to be a good time for me to read. During my prayer time, I do a lot of personal reflection. I think it was good to go into reading each day knowing just a little more about myself.

Unexpected

From the very first chapter, there were some unexpected feelings for me.

The first was a sense of deep pain as Kyle shares a heart-felt conversation with his wife, Genece. The pain was for Genece. I hardly "know" Genece, although she too of course is a member of my parish, and we're "connected" on Facebook.

Genece posts far less than Kyle, but what she does post, coupled with what I have witnessed at our church, give me that perception of somehow knowing something about her.

Minimal as that may be, it was enough to hurt for her and what I thought she must have been feeling during that time.

But I also began to feel for Kyle. I could sense his own hurt. At first, I thought it was only the hurt he must have felt as a husband can only feel for his hurting wife, knowing that it is he who has caused the pain. Soon though, I sensed a pain beyond that; a personal pain that I perceived Kyle was also experiencing.

And not that I think I "needed it" at such an early stage, but by the close of the very first chapter, I realized that this book was not going to be Kyle's attempt to persuade me or anyone else to negatively re-assess our own faith. It did make reading a little more "comfortable" - or at least I thought it would.

Stained-Glass Lives

Kyle describes a childhood which is theologically confusing, to say the least, his father being Budhist and his mother, Catholic.

Kyle experiences further confusion brought on by his parents divorce, changing schools and friendships, substantially different religious experiences and expectations, and experiences of two households that became increasingly "incompatible".

He uses an analogy for his life as that of a stained-glass window which shatters. The pieces of broken glass on the floor are representative of his life and his inability to properly put all of the pieces together.

Personal experiences (although extremely different from Kyle's) help me to relate to this analogy very well. I see how it fits in the lives of many people that I love, and I suspect that it most likely fits in some way or another with each of us.

Kyle was connecting.

Laughing, Crying, Come On Man!

Kyle shares several stories from throughout his life.

Most of his college-life stories or depictions of himself kept me laughing.

His personal presentation of the loss of his children, Francis and Vivian brought me to tears. Tears for the children, for Genece and Kyle, and connected in a way that brought tears for some of my own losses as well.

Honestly, I'm not much of a philosophy fan, so knowing how much Kyle loves philosophy, his assertion that philosophy "really screws up your head" gave me an exceptional chuckle.

And although I was glad to see Kyle assert more about what he believes than what he doubts, there were certainly times throughout the book that can be depicted as "Come on Kyle!" moments.

These are moments when as a Catholic reader and believer I just want him to go a little farther. Times when he begins to share something about his Catholic Faith and then seems to regress with statements like "some days I feel more kinship with atheists and agnostics than with my fellow Catholics." or "I have deceived myself too often to stake my faith on something as unreliable as certainty."

But these statements no longer make me mad. They challenge me...personally.

Communities of Faith

This is the title of Chapter 23. In it, Kyle asserts that communities of faith "exist to nourish and nurture the life of faith that underlies all true relationships." He goes on to say, "This ought to be the purpose of religious communities."

It is here, and in his epilogue in which Kyle states, "I am a man broken, beyond repair, but not beyond hope." that solidified what I had already been feeling throughout my reading experience.

I never really "knew" Kyle. And frankly, there are many other people in my "community of faith" that I "know" even far less.

Now in reality, we will really only develop a small number of real relationships within our communities of faith, but we ought to do our best to develop those with which we can.

From the Catholic perspective, more than any other that I am aware of, we are all especially connected with one another through Christ. I came to understand and regret just how undeveloped my relationship with Kyle really is.

I'm not talking about developing a relationship where we or our families "hang out", but one by which I go beyond "I really like Kyle" to one in which I can say that I love him. He is a brother of mine through our connected relationship with Jesus and through our Catholic Faith.

Perhaps if we all begin to look deeper, to see the brokenness that we all share but share in a personally different way, we can begin to help each other heal.

We may not be able to put the pieces of our shattered stained-glass lives together, but we can at least bind each other's wound when those shards of life's glass cuts us.

Maybe I can stop focusing on myself or fooling myself into thinking that I'm focused on others. Maybe you can too.

Who knows; maybe we can help each other move through those times of doubt and begin living more and more by faith.

Overcoming Double-Mindedness, Dispelling Doubt

If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does. - James 1: 5-8

I started blogging here in July of 2012, but about 5 years earlier I created a profile on Blogger and slightly attempted blogging back then. Although I post far less than most others, that first blog was nearly non-existent, and I never publicized it at all.

My feeble first venture was themed "Resisting Double-Mindedness."
This is because I often find great disparity between the man that I am and the man that God calls me to be.

I saw then, as I do now, that blogging helps me in a few ways, but one of those ways is keeping me accountable; accountable to God and to others for what I post here, and accountable for how what I write might influence someone else (for the good or for the bad).

Whenever I get frustrated (or really aggravated) with others, it's always helpful to do a good examination of conscience. God often keeps me in check when I weigh myself and my own actions against His Word and His example.

As with anything good, the devil - (and I digress for a moment)Yes, I believe the devil exists. I believe Holy Scripture. I believe Jesus and the accounts of His life and testimonies of the "eyewitnesses" to His Resurrection, many of whom suffered great torment and death rather than deny such (would you die for a lie?)  - tries to manipulate that into something negative, so it's important to understand whether one is being convicted or accused.

Feeling accused can lead one to fail to grasp that Jesus says "...remove the plank from your own eye first. Then you will be able to see clearly to remove the splinter from your brother's eye." (Matthew 7:5)

And we are accountable for others. In the first reading in today's Divine Office, Office of Readings, God says to Ezekiel:

If a virtuous man turns away from virtue and does wrong when I place a stumbling block before him, he shall die. He shall die for his sin, and his virtuous deeds shall not be remembered; but I will hold you responsible for his death if you did not warn him. When, on the other hand, you have warned a virtuous man not to sin, and he has in fact not sinned, he shall surely live because of the warning, and you shall save your own life. - Ezekiel 3: 20, 21

Notice that God does not tell Ezekiel that a "stumbling block" is an excuse for the persistent sinner. Rather, He makes it clear that there are consequences for his actions. Likewise, there are consequences for the prophet as well.

We can't be content thinking "It's just me and Jesus." No, that's where it needs to begin, because many people doubt. They doubt Who Jesus is. They doubt in a God that cannot be grasped by the human intellect in spite of how hard they might try. This can be a real "stumbling block".

I don't publicly reveal much about any personal doubts I have about God or my Faith mainly because I do not want to ever become someone else's stumbling block.

But of course, from time to time, my faith is challenged in one way or another through various "doubts." Usually, these are overcome through prayer, further study, counsel from trusted advisers, or a combination.

So, is it sinful to doubt? Well, that depends.

There are two kinds of doubt. There is voluntary doubt and involuntary doubt.

First, let's look at involuntary doubt. These can be moments of "hesitation" to believe, perhaps prompted by the limitations of human intellect. Involuntary doubt may also be a "difficulty" one has in overcoming certain stumbling blocks or personal objections to the faith. Involuntary doubt though, is a moving target. It prompts questions, questions without predisposed answers. Those questions can be an assent to the truth and lead to new, renewed, or stronger faith.

Voluntary doubt, on the other hand, disregards or rejects what God has revealed and the Church teaches. This means one is persistent, obstinate in his/her doubt to the point of utter disbelief.

It is not the doubter who questions with the heart of one in search for God or on a journey of Faith who falters. Rather, it is the one whose obstinate cultivation of doubt who eventually becomes spiritually blind and deaf.

It is he that James is speaking of. May I continue to seek to overcome my double-mindedness and may the Holy Spirit dispel all of my doubts.

If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.

Biden, Ryan; Will a Catholic Ever REALLY Step Up for the Unborn?

Last night I watched the Vice Presidential debate between Joe Biden and Paul Ryan. Both men claim to be Catholic, but have extremely different ideas about not only how their Catholic Faith should or should not be an influence on their public lives, but also on just what the Catholic Faith teaches regarding various issues, especially abortion.

Now, with 2,000 years of our developing understanding of Christianity and an ever-changing world, there are many Catholic doctrines which may be misunderstood, misinterpreted, or worse, misrepresented. We have the Magisterium. We have the pope. We have our bishops. One should not be doing their "evolving" apart from these.

But on what should have been the clear defining moment of what the Catholic Faith holds true about the sanctity of life and especially the Church's defense of the unborn, both Biden and Ryan failed to step up. Worse, because they are high-profile public figures, they added to the scandal which has long existed because of the likes of such cowardly men (and women).

By the way, the first known Church statement in defense of the unborn is from about the year 100 AD.

Near the end of the debate, the candidates were asked about their Faith with regards to abortion.

Paul Ryan started off well by saying that you cannot separate Faith in your personal life from your public life. Check. He affirms that life begins at conception. Check. He identifies himself as "pro-life". Check. Moments later, however, he re-asserts that "the policy of a Romney Administration will be to oppose abortion with the exceptions for rape, incest, and life of the mother". No check. This is not what the Catholic Faith teaches Mr Ryan. Life does begin at conception. Placing these automatic "exceptions" for abortion weakens the pro-life argument and devalue lives. They devalue innocent human lives.

Of course Joe Biden is so far removed from an acceptable representation of what the Catholic Faith teaches that he would have done better to just say, "Pass." He starts by saying "My religion defines who I am." He then says that he is particularly informed by Catholic Social Doctrine. For my non-Catholic friends or my lesser-aware Catholic friends, this is often (not always, but more often than not) code language for "I am about to distort and misrepresent the Catholic Faith to be some quasi-liberal entity" which may even sound good and logical but is actually Satan in the works. There's that forbidden fruit reference again. Anyway, "Smokin' Joe" continues, saying that we need to take care of "those who can't take care of themselves." Wow Joe, like unborn babies? Nope, not Joe. He continues, "with regard to abortion"  saying that he "accepts" that life begins at conception (Of course he calls it "the Church's judgement"  which ignores the fact there is also scientific proof.) but that he refuses to impose that upon "equally devout Christians, Muslims, and Jews." But he has no problem imposing forced payment for abortions and abortificant drugs by all of us who oppose such evil. He continues to ignore scientific evidence against his position by referring to the baby in the womb as a woman's "own body". Hello Mr Biden, at conception, the baby's DNA is unique. It is NOT the "Mother's own body".

I've posted and had enough. You can see the entire debate below. The parts that I referenced begin at 1:12:30.

If Thy (insert here) Causes Thee to Sin........

Whenever my wife thinks I'm spending too much time in Catholic forums, or answering facebook posts or engaging others on twitter about an array of topics regarding faith and morals, she simply says, "George Vogt, you can't save the world."

I know this to be true. Souls are saved only by Jesus, and although He does use us to cooperate with His Grace in saving others, what Kendra is really saying is, "You can't get through to everyone. Don't take it so personal."

In the Gospel from yesterdays readings at Mass, we hear Jesus say, "If your hand causes you to sin, cut it off." In his homily, our priest talked about removing the things from our lives that are hindering us from conforming our lives to Christ and entering into a deeper relationship with God. He mentioned that many of the things we do, while not in and of themselves are bad, if misused or abused could be part of those hindrances.

While this message was not a new one for me, I can always use a little reminder or two you know. In a way, his message to me was the same as Kendra's. I have learned that no matter what you say or do, some people are just too stubborn to even consider changing their minds about some things.

Whenever I find myself frustrated by what I perceive to be close-mindedness towards God from others, I try to remind myself of the rich man who walked away from Jesus because the message was too hard. Jesus never ran after him. He let him go.

It's not always easy for me to let a stranger go like that. I have to remind myself that it's God's message, my job to deliver it, and the other's choice to receive or reject it. This is multiplied for me with friends and family. My control issues are another story though.

But this leads me to another point made by our priest yesterday. Sometimes there are people in our lives who just have to be cut off. What!? His point, and he's right, is that sometimes we have the right intentions and think that we are helping certain people. We think that if we just keep at it, we will have an impact upon their lives that leads them to God, or to a deeper relationship with Him. All the while though, our relationships with certain people may actually be more damaging to us than rewarding to them.

Perhaps it is time to really consider what relationships bear fruit, and which relationships need to be cut off.

Disclaimer: This post is not directed towards any particular individual nor group of individuals. The reader assumes all risks associated when contemplating this message. 

The Weighting Is The Hardest Part

I've been writing about examining all candidates with a prayerful and properly formed conscience and keeping faith and morals in the political discussions.

There can be such a will of some people to defeat a particular candidate that they don't even want to hear or read anything, and I mean anything, that might cause them or others to do anything but march on in a robotic trance, with blinders on their eyes and fingers in their ears.

As Christians, we have a greater responsibility and allegiance to God than to any politician, political party, and even to our country.  Of course our country is important, but as Christians we are responsible to cooperate with God in our witness to others first, hopefully transforming the country through God's Grace.

The most common responses I have received so far have been:

Romney "is pro-life".

-Well, there's more to being pro-life than being anti-abortion.  And Romney is not always anti-abortion. And even when he is, I do not see such conviction that I believe that he will actually do anything other than say he is pro-life. There's more on this, but you can do a little research on your own right? (Of course we know Obama is definitely pro-abortion and even pro-infanticide so do not misinterpret or distort what I am saying.)

What " if your vote results in dramatic worsening of the situation for pretty much everything you care about (a bigger evil staying in power)?" and "A vote for a third party candidate is a vote for Obama."

-That is part of the discernment that one needs to consider. But it's a part and needs to be taken to prayer and considered in the whole of the process. When our conscience is clear, we will proceed with assurance and peace, not fear. The Lord does not give us a Spirit of fear.

"I know Romney is not perfect. He was not my first nor second choice in the primaries but he he is better than Obama."
-My intention is to get people to think about the weight of their vote on their souls before the weight of politics. Honestly, it's not for me to judge someone who wrestles with the full grasp of facts and takes that (hopefully with prayer) into the voting booth.

I was going to rant on a bit more about this, but Lisa beat me to it.  (Ah, good for me and for you.)

No, it's not easy, but it is your responsibility.  And although Tom Petty's song "The Waiting" was definitely composed with a different end in mind, the chorus of that song reminds me of this process.  Here it is (with my changing of that one word <2x>):

The weighting is the hardest part
Every day you see one more card
You take it on faith, you take it to the heart
The weighting is the hardest part
(The Waiting, by Tom Petty - with editorial liberty)

So try not to get angry about any of this, just think and pray and discern until you truly feel at peace that you have taken into account all of the information. Soon, the weighting will be over.

The Voices In My Head - Part 2; Counterfeit Conscience

In Part 1 I began to address the question, "How do I know if it is God speaking to me, or if it is all in my head?", touching on how and where He speaks, and how conscience is the messenger helping to interpret His voice for us.

But for the Christian, conscience needs to be trained.  It requires proper formation.  A properly formed conscience helps us to make choices based on reason, but in conformity with the Will of God.

When I was in the grocery business, we trained our cashiers how to detect counterfeit money.  To detect counterfeit bills, one does not study the counterfeit.  One studies the real bill, seeks to learn all that is possible about what a real bill looks like.  Properly trained to recognize the real bill, the one with true value, the cashier would be better equipped to recognize the worthless counterfeit bill.

It is also important to note that as cashiers became better equipped to recognize truth over counterfeit, the counterfeiters found better ways to trick them.  This brought on changes in the way money is printed; with special portraits, bands and shifting ink, among others.  Cashiers are now also given special pens to aid them in this effort.  Even as they become more and more equipped, given more and more tools to work with, the counterfeiters continue to scheme.

And so it is today, that we Christians have plenty of "tools" and "aids" at our disposal; much more so than our parents and grandparents and so on.  However, the "counterfeiters", the ones who seek to trick us into accepting false reason, are very good at their game.  More importantly, if we become lazy and do not use the tools at our disposal, we will most certainly be duped!

So it is clear to see, that the formation of the Christian conscience is a life long process.  We have to work at it and stay vigilant against the tactics of the enemies of faith.  Like counterfeiters, they seek to distort true faith, masking their lies with half truths.

Thanks be to God!  We have lots of tools.  We have prayer, which teaches us to place our trust in God and to cooperate with His Will.  We have the great gift of the Word of God, the Holy Scriptures and authentic blueprint of faith.  We have the Church through which we exercise our faith, are renewed and refreshed by the Sacraments and by which we join our prayer to the Body of Christ, whose head is Jesus in Whom all Truth resides.

Next time; more about avoiding counterfeit conscience and erroneous judgement.