this post last year about the difference between feeling convicted and feeling accused. I try to keep this in mind, but truth is, when I examine myself, I find a considerable focus on the negative.
I want to be honest with myself, so I really think about where I may have gone wrong or tripped up or whatever. That's okay I guess, but where the problem lies is in that I often find myself over-analyzing or seeing negative "patterns" in my life. Maybe not so bad either if that leads to identifying areas in my life that I need to take to God in prayer or to cooperate with His Grace in overcoming certain obstacles. But I realize it's more than that. It's often "the accuser" at work.
I am trying to learn to counterbalance the honest examination of faults with the honest examination of goodness.
Even Darth Vader still had some good in him.
Seriously though, not only is it not spiritually healthy for me to fail to recognize the good I do, but it denies that God is at work in my life; that He has changed me and is changing me.
Well, He is very much at work in my life. I see the evidence of it all around me every day. I thank God for the opportunities He gives me so often to allow me to cooperate with Him in what He is doing not only in my life, but in the lives of others.
After all, I'm not saying that it's my light shining in the darkness. No, any good that I do is but a reflection of God's light in and on my life.
The Pharisees failed to recognize the Kingdom of God in their midst. Although the light of the world was with them, they remained in darkness. Pilate failed to see the Truth standing before Him.
I do not want to make those same mistakes. I want to see the Truth. I want to see the truth clearly in my life, both that which leads me to conviction and correction and that which leads me to thankfulness and rejoicing in God's goodness.
This little light is not mine. It's God's. It belongs to Him. I will not allow it to be extinguished.